The problem with painting
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The problem with painting
an exercise in trusting the process
Kaliko Journal is a free newsletter about natural dyeing, textiles, art practice, and life by Ania Grzeszek. This publication is divided into two sections: ”Plant Dyeing” and “Studio Practice”. You can manage your subscription by clicking “Unsubscribe” at the bottom of the email and opting IN and OUT of the sections that interest you. This is also where you can pledge your financial support for this publication, which would help me continue to sustain it.
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The problem with painting is that every time I start a new piece I forget how to do it. I take our my paints and brushes, prepare a blank sheet of paper and I have no clue what to do. Over the time I learned there’s only one solution to it, and it’s to figure it out in the process. It usually takes around 6-7 flops to get an idea what the image needs and what it wants to be. This process is necessary, the image usually reveals itself step by step, slowly guiding the hand in the right direction. I don’t put any meaning to these preliminary images, they are the means necessary to get to the solution.
And then, without overthinking, it suddenly feels like the image is there, ready to be put onto paper. I know what it needs and it just flows. I do it almost effortlessly. Everything seems obvious. But the problem with painting is, next time I sit down to paint, I will have forgotten how to do it again.
5 years into my business I know that spring is always a slow season. I try to relish lazy mornings in the sun, the smell of blooming bushes and my sudden bursts of energy. Kaliko is the last item on my priority list as the days get longer, with my new job, our house project and occasional paintings coming way before it.
Sometimes I feel like every time I stop prioritising my business, it’s just like painting—I forget how to do it. My self esteem inevitably tanks, I am lost and I don’t know where I should be going. But if it’s anything like painting indeed, then I should rest assured, the answer is out there, I just need to put some work to uncover it.
Maybe that’s why I enjoy oil painting so much. It builds up layer after layer, all the search hidden under the next coat of paint. A struggle under the surface, a story not to be revealed.
I don’t have any business updates for you this time, only this oil painting I dreamt up months ago and finally finished.
The problem with painting
I’ve finally come to understand that seasons will always play a role in my personal life and work, and the energy I have for certain things, but it’s still hard to remember that this is true for my business as well. Losing momentum always feels like a huge failure but it’s natural to have cycles in businesses as well. I love your painting and your process studies and I hope you’re enjoying the process!